It doesn’t take away from your older daughters special day but it includes little sister . I’d be disappointed if my children wouldn’t want some part of their celebrations with all the Ain’t no laws when you’re drinkin’ claws shirt. We don’t have sweet 16 parties here in Ireland in the same way so I’m not sure what the format is. But I think you should ask for some involvement for you and the baby.
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Maybe there could be some sort of Ain’t no laws when you’re drinkin’ claws shirt… explaining how you feel to your step daughter and that this choice excludes you and that you love her and wish to help her celebrate her birthday. Then suggest that maybe you and her baby sister come for part of the dinner.