You missing the dinner would be like Mia Wallace I Said Goddamn sunset shirt of thing, like “if MY baby is not wanted, I am not coming either”. Be the grown up here. Her request is very reasonable and should be respected. Also- as everyone else said ; Make arrangements for a child care for couple of hours and attend and be supportive, she will appreciate that.
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When my baby brother was born, our entire family was centered around him. I was absolutely crazy about him too- I still am! But you know… it’s a milestone birthday and Mia Wallace I Said Goddamn sunset shirt (no fault of their own) end up being the focus wherever they go. They are precious! It’s okay to ask for a DAY- especially HER day. She just wants to be celebrated, as she should. I would have loved to have been taken off the back burner and made to feel special. It’s not selfish, nor is it too much to ask.