I do think it’s great that someone who doesn’t see why those are a problem is asking about it, though. People who don’t have a crappy 28 Years 1993 2021 Korn Signature Thank You For The Memories T-shirt member often dismiss the very real problems others are having because “my mom does that stuff from a place of love” when the truth is that awful people have kids. Hell, Albert Fish had 6 and he… did a lot of terrible things to children and ate some of them. But not his own kids and at least one of his daughters still kept in touch with him after he was caught because he was family, and you love family. These things are hard to get your head around when “normal” for you is pleasant.
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At the same time, I think it’s good to understand that you’re lucky. You don’t have to “get it” through experience, but just like you can understand that systemic racism exists and 28 Years 1993 2021 Korn Signature Thank You For The Memories T-shirt exists and some people are allergic to nuts, you can understand that some people have sucky families and are only giving you a small window into a larger situation. (And that sometimes the person complaining is the JN sucky one and you should back away slowly.) But I think it’s wonderful for someone to be able to believe another person’s lived experience and then be able to go hug their mom or MIL and appreciate them for not being nightmares to deal with.
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