Okay so for starts, fuck you for putting “Creamy Sheev” in my head. Secondly, agreed 100% – and don’t forget that 50th Birthday Rocking Since 1971 Legendary Original T-Shirt being a clone himself in RoS was itself a retcon – we were supposed to believe he had actually bodily survived ROTJ, until someone tweeted at Jar Jar Abrams and reminded him and the Story Group that my man had not only been dropped down into a reactor which exploded but then the Death Star 2 also them exploded in space and that there’s absolutely no scenario where Papa Palpatine survives that. Sheev having a kid is the least unbelievable part of that whole jam, and the guy ON-SCREEN is so painfully obviously NOT Sheev, it’s profoundly insulting to even suggest that he’s a clone – “failed” or no. And also, failed clones go in the dumpster, not inexplicably allowed to go off world and have a nice full life! It’s so unconscionably dumb that any of these retcons were attempted and CONTINUE to be attempted (here’s looking at you Luuke/Snoke!), at this point nothing matters in Star Wars except your headcanon.
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The dude who fathered her isn’t even really a Palpatine clone. He was a “strand cast”, meaning he had some Palpatine DNA mixed with a bunch of other 50th Birthday Rocking Since 1971 Legendary Original T-Shirt with the purpose of making him not Skeletor but also able to use the Force. They succeeded at either making deformed monsters who could use the Force (Snoke or the rotting Palpatine clone in the movie) or normal looking people who couldn’t, generally. He was in the second class so he was a failure, and then they let him go for some reason.
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