It took about two minutes for us to figure out just what the hell was wrong. Dad grabbed a flashlight and looked through the hatch and saw that the auger was all cattywampus with the top end hanging from the lovejoy at a painful angle, and the bottom fucked off into a corner of the little square at the bottom of the tank about 4 inches from where it wanted to be. As he explained this, I turned as red as the emergency button they had pushed moments before.
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The shaft dropped in the hole with a THUNK, and the top of the tank shook. The sound was deafening, but it marked my success. Immediately, I reached out the hatch, and a pair of hands pulled me out into the cold, and now, painfully bright room. I was hauled out the hatch, dripping with hot sticky peanut butter that now covered every single inch of my entire body except for my face.
The small group of perhaps a dozen guys had grown to well over two dozen men (and a few women) when I came out of there, and they all applauded and cheered like I’d just taken the stage at Woodstock. Every single person in the whole damn shop, even all of the workers from the assembly lines, had come running to see the freakshow. The whole damn factory was at a standstill just to watch my stupid ass emerge naked and covered in slimy peanut butter from that tank. I cannot begin to express how sincerely thankful I am that this happened back in the early 90’s before everyone walked around with a camera in their pocket.
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