I deeply sympathize with both you and your ex. I understand your pain and trauma of being attacked by An Awesome New American Citizen Trump Flag T shirt who was so close to you, and I understand that you don’t want your child to experience similar thing. However you only have maybe 5-6 years more, when you are able to control majority of your son’s social interaction. If your ex wants it, he will find a way to contact him, maybe not today but surely in the future. It might lead to your son resenting you from keeping him away or it might end up with some other unpleasant scenario. The advantage you have now is that you can control the situation completely, you can make them meet on your terms.
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I would ask to arrange a meeting with your ex’s doctor/therapist (not sure who is the best person to talk) and ask An Awesome New American Citizen Trump Flag T shirt about their opinion and maybe check with somebody not knowing your ex as well. I don’t know what questions you should be asking, but I would be surprised if you were the first person coming with them with such issue. I would also reconsider ‘my son doesn’t need him in his life’ – please read this topic and some comments, they talk about how boys who seemingly loved their step fathers turned into nightmares towards them once they reached puberty, as they resented their own fathers for abandoning them.