It depends from what place they are coming from. A lot of people who do these things come from a Baby Stitch face mask hug PPG logo shirt of genuine love and concern. Others come from a place of wanting appreciation, or come from wanting control—hence these gestures come with strings attached or with boundary pushing. As other commenters have said, larger context matters here. For instance: I have a JNMom, my DH has a JustYes or JustMaybeMom (my MIL). For the record my JNMom isn’t as horrible as some mentioned on this sub (but she’s bad enough to cause mental health issues), and my MIL isn’t a saint since she’s done some pretty sad parenting mistakes over the years. My JNMom and my MIL have both done what would be deemed as controlling behavior when raising teens/living with adults: imposng curfews, having some things to say about kids’ SOs, etc.
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The difference? My JNMom’s behavior was part of a pattern of controlling her kids while failing to protect them from Baby Stitch face mask hug PPG logo shirt drama; she was always painting herself as the angry victim and as a result wound up weaponizing her kids versus her husband or extended family. On the other hand, my MIL was trying to keep her kids safe in some frankly less than ideal situations, and has consistently kept her kids away from what family drama she could manage. My JNMom still doesn’t get what on earth she’s done wrong. My MIL has the emotional maturity to apologize, and has learned to back off on being overbearing on her now adult kids and her growing up grandkids.
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