Yeah, well you make a really shitty Welcome Wagon, chum.” In agony I pulled myself up to a Baby Yoda I love someone with autism to the moon and back shirt , my eyes fixated on his and my ears ringing painfully. “So drop the damn crowbar and listen up. You ain’t gonna lay a hand on another of my friends or any other human being ever again, and once I drive off, you’re going to forget you ever met me and turn yourself in. Tell them everything, if you can even make sense of your own motives.” The crowbar fell with a thump to the pine needles, but I was stunned to find myself laid out from a sharp kick to the face. Clutching my broken nose, it struck me that my newfound abilities worked only in the most literal sense of my own words; after all, he hadn’t exactly laid a hand on me, just as I’d demanded.
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Leave me alone!” I wailed, staggering to my feet and overcome with ire. “Gah, on second thought, you barely deserve any Baby Yoda I love someone with autism to the moon and back shirt …and, you’d save a lot of people a ton of grief if you just killed yourself.” Deafened by tinnitus, I had taken maybe six gingerly steps away when I suddenly swallowed hard and turned, just in time to witness his protest-free compliance. With the same brutality he must have exacted on his victims, he mauled himself, cruelly and precisely, before falling to the forest floor alongside the crowbar, a loop of his entrails trailing from under his open jacket and steaming in the crisp winter air.