Hi Rags, first of all I’m do sorry for your Best Dad By Par Golf Swing shirt, I understand your pain and if you need help I recommend you to look for a professional. Looking at your relationship with your beliefs I can easily identify what you are having now is the aftermath of what religion did to your mind. I used to be Christian myself too, and even tho I lost my father due to Diabetes, my faith was not shaken.
What it did was trying to understand my own beliefs. Yes it’s a long and gruesome process, but trust me, sometimes is worth it. I also have the same feeling of being honest to myself, I too can’t lie and pretend I still belief after all the evidence, logical fallacies, opinions and records that does not back up my religion.
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First of all, thank you so much for being so kind. It really means a lot to me and I appreciate every word of your Best Dad By Par Golf Swing shirt. I do know that praying to God isn’t like asking a genie for a wish, but in moments of desperation I guess I just ask him for a miracle. Whenever I pray, it feels like I don’t get an answer or like no one is listening to me. Though I know that I can’t expect God to save my friend, I at least expected to maybe feel some love or comfort when I prayed after she passed. But like always, I just felt nothing. I think that is the main reason why I’ve been losing faith over the years; not just because God doesn’t answer my prayers, but because I’ve never felt him at all. I’m still hoping for that epiphany, or some special moment where I feel or hear God. Maybe that is faith.