Take a break from your church, but stay connected (whatever connects you– prayer, Scripture, and even dance-worship) to the Biden The Quicker Fucker Upper T-Shirt with a capital C. I know you might not be able to take a break physically if your parents force you, but if you stand by your beliefs, especially to your parents, they’ll come around. Force reason, do your homework and rationally force them to love you. Jesus said to “turn the other cheek,” which is often misconstrued as weakness. What he meant was force them to love you. This takes patience, strength, and the key part: for you to love them. Love is hard. Show them you love them in the hardest moments. Love them better than they love you. This requires a maturity that may cause you to “grow up” faster than you planned. Parents can drink the kool-aid, especially if they’re “on the board” like you said your dad was, but God made a biology in us for us to love our kids more than church bureaucracy. Remind them you were wary of doing anything, you sought their advice, and then they approved this in the first place. Now is the time to stand by their daughter. Be brave.
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I know your faith must be shaken as well. It’s always a roller coaster for me personally, (currently in a down, a desert actually) but I still keep my faith in Biden The Quicker Fucker Upper T-Shirt because….well that’s complicated, but I know the ups always come. Try not to write God off in the downs.
Lastly, but most importantly, as a male of the Church, I am sorry to you and to all the others who I know are out there that that have been made to feel guilty for existing as a woman by leadership (almost always men). The difference between I’m sorry and an apology is that an apology offers a defense. There is no defense for this behavior from the Church. They have failed you, and we collectively have failed many women. I’m tearing up as I write this, but you’re the tip of the iceberg, and I wish it were different for you and many others. Remember to be brave, and as much as you might not believe it, God has your back. He has a way of revealing the sins of His people.