I’m going to do the mom thing: make an appointment to see a therapist. When they ask you why, tell them you need help accessing your emotions. Take what you’ve written here with you and Daddy I Love You Even More Than Xbox And That’s A Lot Shirt. You’ve been very clear and open with us on this forum. Don’t feel like you need to reinvent the wheel. In my experience, the single hardest thing about therapy is beginning the conversation and being clear about why you’re there. You’ve done the hard part. Now go share it with someone who will help you.
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Oh Dear Heart. This will never go away you just learn how to live with it better. In fact as you mature your questions will get deeper and more detailed and you will learn to be ok with Daddy I Love You Even More Than Xbox And That’s A Lot Shirt. But you have to talk about it. You will always have to talk about it, Keep fighting for yourself. It’s a gift you give for honoring your mother…you fight where she could not.