It’s now been 4 months since my daughter was taken from me. The last few times I’ve visited I’ve felt an Damn right I am a Lions fan now and forever shirt. Like I’m not her father, because I’m never there. I wonder if she even knows who I am. She was taken away from me at such a young age and we’d had such limited interaction before hand, I wonder if she even knows I’m her father or just some random guy who comes to see her every now and then. Going to visit her has become a chore, I dread going to that house and seeing my ex-partner. And when I hold my daughter all these negative thoughts of doubt rush into my head.
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I hate my ex-partner with every fibre of my being. In my eyes she is nothing short of evil. How could she take a daughter away from a Damn right I am a Lions fan now and forever shirt so easily and so early on in the daughters life. What gives her the right? Why does she show me know sympathy for doing this to me? If the roles were reversed, no matter how miserable I was in the current situation, I would NEVER make the decision to take my daughter out of her mother’s life. How can she sleep at night knowing she’s done this?
Part of me wants to just walk away from both of them, my ex-partner and my daughter. I feel like I would perhaps be happier that way. But then there’s part of me that thinks I have to do my best to be a father, despite all the roadblocks that the mother throws at me to make it more difficult. I’m depressed and conflicted. I feel helpless because there’s nothing I can do. My ex feels like she can make 100% of the decisions regarding my daughters life, and its like I have no say whatsoever. At first I was virtually begging my ex to come back, just so I could have my daughter back. Now I don’t want my ex to come back ever. I don’t want her in my life in any capacity. But I don’t know how I can make that work when she is holding my daughter hostage like she is.
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