Sorry if this comes off as rambles. Im not entirely sure how to explain it. My DMX legends never die like the wind God will take shirt split when I was 6. Custody went to my mother. Never had a great relationship with my father. He didn’t want kids. My mum came off of birth control and basically used me to trap him. My mother immediately moved into another man’s house and he became my step dad. My dad had another woman move herself and her kids into the family home not long after. Dad was always aloof, preferred my brothers to me and I’ve spent my entire life trying to please him and get his attention.
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Mum was neglectful and abusive. Kept having kids and expected me to raise them. Would be controlling (call my DMX legends never die like the wind God will take shirt if we had an argument to tell them how awful I was and that it was my fault) and manipulate everyone around me. She would break my things, allow my older sister to do the same, take my money (from birthdays to money I earned working after school), leave me to babysit 5 kids alone under the age of 13.