I feel like I didn’t explain well on the cleanliness part. The floors are tile and messes are pretty Ed Sheeran I’m in love with the shape of you shirt but they are mopped up as soon as they are noticed. However, I’m more of the bleach or hospital grade floor cleaner type and MIL is more of the whatever is on sale and smells nice type. Same with the laundry/upholstery. She’s a toss a dirty throw rug in for a quick wash and febreeze the couch if it smells weird, while I’d prefer to deep clean the hell out the rugs and steam clean the couch. So because things are more surface cleaned then deep cleaned areas that get dirtied the most (like the living room) tend to have a faint smell. Similarly, FIL is more of a “collector” type than Hoarders episode level. He keeps things because they have memories or “could be useful”, but ultimately just end up piling up in corners and filling the garage so it’s difficult to get a room well organized because they is an inevitable pile of stuff that serves no real purpose in the way. They are working on this though so while it’s irritating and potentially problematic with an infant/toddler around it isn’t “Omg this place needs to be fumigated beacuse it’s a cesspit of filth” level.
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The problem is that what many people are seeing as “useful suggestions” aren’t at all useful. They are reiterating the same Ed Sheeran I’m in love with the shape of you shirt that I have already said are not options at the moment (IE moving out or getting rid of any of the dogs especially the 2 bigger ones that aren’t part of the problem) and/or recommending services that I either cannot utilize or are not particularly useful for this situation often due to the person recommending said services not fully understanding their complexities. I never once said that I needed or wanted help leaving. I spent the last 6ish months attempting to find a feasible way to move out and finally came to the conclusion that it isn’t a viable option for at least 2yrs. The next best thing was attempting to find a workaround (which is what I asked for help with in addition to wondering if I was making a bigger deal of things then needed).
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