One time I told my mom “screw you” and I thought it was just a silly “oh well whatever!” kind of Fathers Day – Father Of A Prince shirt . She did that shocked “SAMBUTHA!!!!” thing like I’d mortally offended her. She had to explain to me that “screw” means “sex” so “screw you” is a pretty rude thing to say to your mother. But like…. OF COURSE I didn’t know what it mean. I was a sheltered, innocent little 8 year old girl. Why do parents always assume you’ve just transformed into some kind of fucking psychopath instead of patiently laughing and asking “you don’t know what that word means, do you?”
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Eh, it happens. When I was about 11-12 my dad just came out of the bathroom from doing an awful ‘dad poop’ and I told Fathers Day – Father Of A Prince shirt he smelled like sperm in front of my family and my friend. Yeah, I thought sperm meant poop. Luckily, my dad is something else, it wasn’t a big deal but I wanted to die!! Years later my family still gives me shit about it. It’s hilarious. Edit: My sister and her friend were taking sex Ed and were looking at the anatomical diagram of a penis. I was wee little and always in the way. I asked them what that thing (penis) is. They told me it was a map of WV and said “we live right here” pointing at the tip. Of course I got a hold of that diagram later and proudly brought it to the get together my parents were having, I proudly showed them where we live on the ‘map.’ Right at the tip ????