If you want to stop feeling like a third in the For the horde 2021 Vertical shirt, the relationship needs to be restructured around you not being less important. Do they live together? They should move to individual bedrooms. You should have a guest room at their place, as well. If they live apart, you deserve the same toothbrush/drawer for extra clothes/etc setup they have for each other. Do they have a ton of photos of themselves together all over fb, insta, and their home(s)? They need to double the amount of photos, or replace many of them, with pictures of all three of you as a triad and also pictures of just you and gf and you and bf. They same way there will still be some pics of just the two of them.
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Frankly you keep saying they aren’t unicorn hunters and you aren’t a unicorn, but you’re describing a situation where you are dating a preexisting couple in a For the horde 2021 Vertical shirt, and the preexisting couple continues to act like their couple relationship is the more important one, pushing you into a secondary position and making you feel shitty. That’s one of the main problems with unicorn hunting. I seriously think you should try reading the unicornrus stuff again, cause this is discussed pretty extensively on there and in the links, and it sounds like no one in your triad has really internalized it or acted to make equitable changes.