I was home alone. My dad was with my older sister at an event for the class of 2021, and my Friends Don’t Let Friends Fight Cancer Alone Breast Cancer Fighter Shirt was with my younger sister at her soccer practice. Around 6:30, I got a call from my mom. She told me that my little sister would be dropped off by a team mate, because she was on her way to the hospital. My neighbor, who has been sick for a few weeks now but was starting to improve a few days ago, went into cardiac arrest. This neighbor is a very close friend of my whole family, and she comes to our house almost every single night. I practically grew up with her.
I asked my mom if that meant she was dead, and she answered, “no, but it’s not looking good.” And then she hung up and I was sitting completely alone just processing what she had said. I felt so helpless, so the first thing I did was start praying. I prayed out loud, something I haven’t done in at least three years. I begged God to save her and to heal her. I asked him to be with the doctors as they help her and to let her come home from the hospital safely. I said, “she doesn’t deserve to die.” And for some reason, the moment I said that, I broke down. I cried for the first time in months. It was so hard to breathe that I couldn’t even pray anymore. In my head, I was just pleading with God to not take her
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And then he told us that she was dead. They got her heart beating again for a couple of Friends Don’t Let Friends Fight Cancer Alone Breast Cancer Fighter Shirt, but there was nothing else they could do. She’s gone forever and I don’t know how I’m going to ever wrap my head around that.
So now, I’m really at the point where I’m about to say “I don’t believe in God”, as opposed to what I have said for the past five years, “I don’t know if there is a God.” Maybe I’m just being selfish and entitled, but I have never in my life had a prayer answered, and I’ve prayed too many times to count. This was my last hope. I was hoping so badly that God would provide us with a miracle. But, just like always, it just felt like I was talking to air. I’ve never heard God’s voice, felt his presence, or anything of the sort. And now I think that I never will.