Family friends and I am a grumpy Veteran I served I sacrificed shirt. I would suggest you, your wife and children, together, choose those people she feels are best suited as exemplars for your children. These people would be the ones you (as Dad) would turn to, first, for childcare, for coming to parent-teacher meetings along with you, for planning birthday parties, weddings, and other family events alongside your children, and for joining in family dinners regularly so that your children have events and adult inputs to look forward to on a daily and weekly basis. In essence, these will be those people your wife, children and you think are best suited to be tasked with raising your children as your sweet family prefers.
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Presents. Others may have other ideas, but I’m not a fan of buying presents for birthdays and I am a grumpy Veteran I served I sacrificed shirt. Maybe a year into the future, but not beyond. Why? Because part of living is knowing that death is inevitable, and life is finite. I feel it is emotionally confusing and too heartwrenching to mourn every single time a present is not received, because one day they will eventually run out, even if you stockpile for ten years. I think it is kinder and much easier on the living to understand immediately or very soon that this is it, this is the end, and life goes on, and we make the most of it.