In a nutshell because we don’t understand our emotions, what they mean and how they make us feel. Narcisstic abuse is entirely emotional I can be mean af sweet as candy cold as water evil hell or loyal like a soldier shirt in that our own self protection mechanisms are turned against us, we are put in turmoil from the outset, our moral compass loses north setting and suddenly the only person in our life that matters, even more than ourself, is the narc. We are taken from giddy love heights to Eventual daily rejection routines.. Lucky to get a crumb of affection and when we do, we’re so grateful. Then it ends…weeks, months, years…we are not who we were and don’t remember who we were, what we used to like and what we didn’t. We don’t know who we are now and have ABSOLUTELY no idea what we like to do, how to pamper ourself or put ourself first – not even sure that’s allowed! We definitely don’t know who the narc is and we’ve no idea how we landed where we are right now, probably financially or materialistically a lot worse off than when we met the narc.
A lot of people prefer rural settings and lifestyles too. Yeah the I can be mean af sweet as candy cold as water evil hell or loyal like a soldier shirt are ridiculous but where I am in BC I’ve seen a lot of people move to smaller cities and towns to get away. This is exasperating the housing crisis here too… basically these towns can’t grow fast enough.I live in a town of about 4k people and there are people from greater Vancouver moving here all the time. I bought my house for 230k 6 years ago and today it would sell for over 400k. I feel like I bought at exactly the right time, but really feel for anyone getting into the market today, no matter where it is.
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One thing I learned over the years (my children are now adults) is to wait. I used to fall into the “back to school” shopping mode and spend my I can be mean af sweet as candy cold as water evil hell or loyal like a soldier shirt on the kids needs before the first week of school. Then, after the first few days of school, my kids would fall back on wearing their usual shorts, tees and sandals/tennis shoes – the same stuff they’d been wearing all summer. A few weeks later, the weather switches to the first hints of fall and winter and my kids would have a whole new set of urgent “needs”, based on what the other kids were wearing, what they discovered they’d outgrown on that first cool morning, etc. It’s hard to anticipate what you will want to wear in a different season – I still find it difficult to pack for a trip to the desert southwest in January.
I can be mean af sweet as candy cold as water evil hell or loyal like a soldier shirt and we cannot pay for a house either. Its Like 500k in a slummy Environment plus all the people i know are reverse living means saying fuck it I cant afford it anyways not even as the hardest worker on planet so a lot of people are working part time, enjoying life, and do the barely minimum of what they have too. Ps: a lot of friends are already in a psychological Treatment as they suffer from depressions or burnouts