What I heart from this post that OpP ikes every GRANDMA thing that Mary is doing for her daughter but feels like she isn’t even deserving of the title of I just want to play guitar and ignore all of my old man problems vintage shirt. And it is even more obvious that Mary loves OP and OPs granddaughter because she was worried about not being able to see them again. Mary was the only person NOT to get mad at OP. She just wanted to see OPs daughter.
OP ask your daughter, without any bias pretexts beforehand, if she wants to call Mary her grandma. If yes, then let her. She maybe 4 but she has autobomyto an extent and this is one of those things that she can decide who she wants to call grandma/mom/dad,/etc as long as the person who she is labeling is d okay with the label.
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You just reminded me of that story with King Solomon. I don’t know if everyone still knows that I just want to play guitar and ignore all of my old man problems vintage shirt so tl;dr: two women claimed the same baby was theirs, so Solomon slyly goes “OK, guards, give them each half” and the fake mother goes “OK” and the real mother goes “Please no, give it to her instead!”
Mary reminds me of the real mom in that story–not completely of course since it’s not a case of giving up the child for its own good, but in the fact (which your comment is basically about) that OP and her dad, like the fake mother, are concerned with power moves but Mary is concerned with the child. If it were about her Status As Grandma for her, she would have gone along with her husband’s ultimatum… but her actions have proved it isn’t, it’s about loving the child.
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