I appreciate that Mary has helped me with my daughter and I also appreciate that she cares about my I need a huge glass of beer 4th Of July shirt, but it just feels wrong that she’s pretending to be her grandma. Mary is just my dad’s wife, nothing more. My dad told me that he no longer wants to help me with childcare until I apologize, but Mary contacted me separately and pleaded that I still let her see my daughter. My husband and sister told me I’m overreacting and that it’s not a big deal to let Mary call herself grandma. So far, I’m refusing to budge until my dad and Mary agree to only refer to Mary by her name to my daughter and not as grandma. Am I the AH here?
Edit to clear up a few things. My actual mom is very much alive and involved in my and my daughter’s life. Mary did not abuse me or treat me badly or anything like that, we simply did not have a relationship beyond coexisting. I have no problems with Mary as a human being, I just feel really weird having my daughter refer to someone who I have no familial love, attachment, or affection for as her grandma. Like if my dad died or split up with Mary I would never see her again. I don’t see why my daughter needs to call her grandma, Mary can still be involved in her life through my dad, just not as her grandma.
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Let’s see if I’m reading this right: Mary is acceptable for your childcare, hasn’t done anything to harm your daughter except love and care for her I need a huge glass of beer 4th Of July shirt, has been in your life since you were 8 yrs old and there the entire time for your daughter. Still this isn’t enough to be considered ‘good enough’ to be considered a grandparent. Yeah, I’m going with YTA Edit to add: After reading OP’s edit adds I’m more convinced my YTA rating is appropriate. And thanks for the upvotes and awards!
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