My older male cousin (younger than his sis but older than me) hes very driven. Super athletic, always working out, always been into I never dreamed I’d end up marrying a perfect awesome husband shirt. Hes currently in the airfoce and has been very successful at that for years. He has a daughter and shes his world. He is however, aggressive and competitive. Theres something people dont seem to realize about him, when he gets angry he changes. And his level of hostility will only increase further. Ive never seen this guy get beaten, he always beats people up if hes in a fight. Hes extremely competitive and can never just not compete with people even w his daughter. When we were little he used always beat me up and put me in chokeholds. Hes not a thinker and doesnt do much w his brain. Hes pretty much all brute force and power, hes physically small but like fucking indestructible. I saw pictures and videos of him wrestling and pillow fighting his friends in the airforce. Dudes towering over my cousin, and he’d quickly pin them down and beat em up. Its crazy just how powerful he is, but somehow everyone assumes that because im larger and taller I should have the upper hand. I PROMISE YOU I DONT! Anytime hes around me its only a matter of time before hes beating me up (and usually its very painful). Sometimes I think I need to stay away from him because of this. He used to push me down the stairs and even slam doors in my face when we were little. Alot of this continued after we grew up. I only saw him twice since 2015 and briefly and both times we were around family and his daughter was there. So I think thats the reason he hasnt kicked my ass, last time was 2011. So far Ive successfully avoided a proper senseless beating for a decade now (literally just realized it as I was typing all this lol).
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Ok so in summary, my family theyre pretty much unsupportive and discouraging and unaccepting af except for my female cousin. I never feel like I can be myself, always feel like im under extreme pressure to hold back and not really be myself. It always feels wrong to try and be myself around I never dreamed I’d end up marrying a perfect awesome husband shirt. I often feel like im on the outside, nobody gets me nobody understands me at all. Im really quite different from all of them. They dont do math and science or engineering like me, they mostly make decisions with their emotions and hardly pay attention to the facts. Theyre hardly logical, they dont seem to learn anything new except possibly my sister but even in her case she hardly compares to me since Im always learning new stuff.
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