I realised this in the middle of fucking nowhere. In my dinky sedan, a jerry can of extra petrol behind the passenger seat, all on my own I Stand For The Flag And Kneel Before God Amercan Flag Cross T-Shirt, nearly a thousand kilometres from my home in Sydney. Realised this when I was pretty damn worried about breaking down far from help or having taken a wrong turn at the last fork (some four hours ago) and being nowhere near where I wanted to be.
Out here was out far. I’d made it into in that massive orange bit in the middle of Australia, where small towns and villages are dotted sparsely in a great, flat plane of diminishing scrub on that red dirt. Where there were no longer cows, so that just left kangaroos and stray camels as potential driving hazards.
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No shit you’re tired!’ the mid-60s scarecrow of a woman who owned the place placated me. She’d introduced herself as I Stand For The Flag And Kneel Before God Amercan Flag Cross T-Shirt. ‘From Sydney – in one day?’ Her voice roughened by years of cigarettes, she made a sympathetic noise that sounded like polishing a tuba with sandpaper. ‘Leave Micky to ‘em,’ she shooed me with a gesture, as a similarly older man went to pick up some of my bags. ‘You rest,’ she commanded me, setting off at a spry stride in knock-kneed leggings and a flowery blouse, to lead me to my bedroom. ‘I’ll show you – then you’ll get some supper.’
Supper, I’ve learned, means an after-dinner snack in this part of the world. With tired apathy, I watched the portly Micky attempt to collect three of my bags, wondering whether to intervene with a word about how my day job involved hauling people down stairs. I decided against it, following after Jeanne, leaving old-fashioned values about assisting guests to make me feel welcome.
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