On day 4 I saw a lactation consultant. She confidently ruled out any tongue or lip tie, as had the midwife and the I’m a redhead I have selective hearing I’m sorry you were not selected shirt. She was able to get my baby to latch perfectly. Was it a supply issue? She put me on a strict triple feeding regiment. It was exhausting. I was only getting .5 oz between both boobs each time I pumped. And of course yet again, I could not recreate the same perfect latch that everyone else seemed able to do. The pain persisted and at every feed I found myself thinking about exclusive formula feeding… fantasizing about how easy my life might be…I could smoke weed again…I could sleep for more than 3 hours at a time. But that option never felt right for me. Breastfeeding felt so deeply, personally important in my soul. I wanted it for me and my baby too badly to let it go.
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Three weeks in and minimal progress. Nursing hadn’t improved but now I was pumping 1-1.5 oz per session. Still not sufficient enough for exclusive pumping. One I’m a redhead I have selective hearing I’m sorry you were not selected shirt as I attempted to nurse, it hurt so bad and baby was so fussy every time I tried to latch her, my husband saw me crumbling into a teary mess and ran over to hold me while I sobbed the hardest I’ve ever cried in my adult life. I called the lactation consultant again the following day.
At our next appointment she did a weighted feed and determined that baby was not transferring milk efficiently. She was a lazy, sleepy sucker and according to the consultant, not moving her tongue in the correct way to get enough milk from the nipple. She set us up with a SNS and referred us to an oral motor therapist. I never used the SNS after that visit..uninterested in adding more steps and devices to what I wanted to be a wholly natural process.
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