My therapist said to write a book- I don’t think it’s worth it to be honest Im Young Doing Young Things shirt. I don’t feel like what I’ve experienced is out of the ordinary really… but I do need to feel seen. I spend a lot of the time trying to be normal, with my childhood just circling my brain everyday all day. It’s exhausting. My mom and dad lived together until I was about 10. I am the oldest of 6 kids. Our house was always a mess, dishes never done. My dad yelled at my mom because dinner wasn’t ready after church and he threw all of our food and dishes onto the driveway.
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He would regularly beat me, he called it discipline God told him to administer. He used the long plastic rod used to close the Im Young Doing Young Things shirt blinds and would have me take my clothes off and he would hold my head down in the bathtub and pin my legs between his while I screamed until I passed out. He always told my mom, you know I have to do this, and she would agree, and he would lock her out of the bathroom. I would wake up in her lap with ice packs on my bruises. He would crawl on the ground to me and promise to never hurt me like that that he loved me. I remember hating him, but being too scared to do anything but say I forgave him. He would call a family meeting and tell us we were too expensive to feed so he and my mom needed to get rid of some of us. And then he would laugh while we all cried.