Unhappiness is core to NPD, it is the original unhappiness with an Incompetent Tee Shirt o get the unconditional love it demands that triggers their narcissistic rage (called a tantrum) and sets in motion their efforts thereafter to find the one who will love them unconditionally and therefore understand and forgive their narcissistic rages and constant devaluation of others. These rages become a habit and the narcissist strengthens in his or her ability to control their private world through the intimidating threat of the narcissist’s rage. It is not all that hard to understand and forgive an infant for their self centered demands, that the whole world should stop doing whatever they are doing and satisfy the infants needs. They are so cute and relatively harmless that there is not all that much to forgive once they are playing or snuggling happily.
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Having someone who loves you through all your thick and thins. Who can say “I love you” on your bad days, instead of saying “I told you not to, how will you overcome all this, you made it a mess, you need to get through it alone, how will I be able to Incompetent Tee Shirt . Know that, true ones always care, no matter where you stand. With a full grown, perhaps not so cute and not so harmless, narcissist it is a different story. Its difficult to give a monster unconditional love while they are actively trying to destroy you or at least destroy your happiness through devaluation. Some narcissistic serial rapists, led by their grandiose fantasies, can twist the truth so far from reality that they convince themselves that their victims screams of pain are actually screams of passion and they are, in their narcissistically superior position, the object of that passion. This is an extreme example meant to demonstrate how far out of touch the narcissist’s grandiose story can evolve as they create their twisted narrative with themselves as the rightful center of the world.