Did someone say bacon? I’m sure I smell bacon here, or maybe here. Do you have the Jantsen Monster shirtq I m almost POSITIVE that smell is bacon. What’s in the bag? Is it bacon? Why aren’t you letting me have the bacon!!!??? What do you mean it’s not bacon? I know you’re showing me things that aren’t bacon, but I am pretty sure you still have bacon in that bag. Maybe it’s in your pockets. Let me check. Why do you keep backing away? Is it because you want all that delicious bacon for yourself? OK, maybe I should try and knock you down, then maybe the bacon will fall out of your pockets. Hmmm, no bacon yet.
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Maybe if I jump on your stomach bacon will appear. Nope, not yet. Jantsen Monster shirtq Maybe it’s by your feet. Or next to you. Or between this sidewalk crack. Yes, the bacon is buried in the sidewalk. If I could just jam my nose down there…let me try. Somehow this isn’t working. Maybe the bacon is buried in these leaves. Maybe I should eat the leaf and it will taste like bacon. Nope, that leaf didn’t taste like bacon. Maybe this one. Nope, how about this one? Damn, WHICH LEAF TASTES LIKE BACON!!!??? I will have to eat each one I find tonight. That will get me some bacon, I just know it. Oh hi! I’ve never met you before. Do you have bacon? I think I smell some between your legs, let me jam my nose up in there, since I just met you. Why are you pushing me away!!