We came around the building and there sat a small, 1960’s era farm house, smack dab in the middle of a Merry And Masked Teacher Squad shirt and porch. It was bizarre to say the least. I figured it was one of those situations where the owners had refused to sell and all the property was bought up around it to piss them off. I walked straight for the door with my shoulders back and head high. My perfect, hipster cut blonde hair shifted a bit in the breeze like Brad Pitt out in the desert, and I had a thousand yard stare that could cut through stone.
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I looked back at Devin and noticed he wasn’t carrying a spray tank or any traps or Merry And Masked Teacher Squad shirt or anything exterminating related. In his left hand was an old wooden baseball bat with dark stains all over it. In his right was a burlap sack with a drawstring. On his right hand was a pair of brass knuckles and stuffed in his belt was, of all things, a gas grill type scraper and an African Maraca like they use in tribal dances or whatever. I suddenly wished I had some sort of weapon, or at least a djembe drum. These must be some bigass raccoons that you have to mesmerize like those king cobras when you play a flute.