I would REALLY recommend cutting contact. I done this about 6 Nasa Official Rocket Scientist T shirt ago now. You may not realise it but the anxiety of having nobody else etc was actually probably instilled into you from a young age by your narcissistic mother. From personal experience, when I done this and became independent I grew tenfold as a person. Learned so much about myself, developed into who I was meant to be. This is not possible by having a person like that in your life who continuously aims to drag you down. I personally was afraid to cut contact too and the first few weeks were hell but six years on and its safe to say i’ll be throwing a party when my mother dies ??
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My mom was diagnosed with narcissism before I was born. I have SO many similarities with your Nasa Official Rocket Scientist T shirt . Sometimes they pop up in my memories unbidden and it’s sucks. They swirl around when I’m going through a hard time and I don’t know why. Same physical abuse. When I was small enough, she literally would do shit like grab me by the hair and swing me around and let me go flying. Emotional abuse. Fuckkk yes. Would lock me in my room for days on end with no food or water or place to use the restroom. My earliest memory that luckily stays blocked out most of the time is listening to CMT music videos on a tiny TV and finally giving up and going to pee in a tiny teacup from a toy set I had. Typing this was HARD.