Only in the last 48 hours did Scott’s spirit begin to Santa Hat Toilet Paper Merry Christmas 2020 Sweatshirt He slept, mostly, but he knew he was going. In one of his last lucid moments, he spoke candidly with me and a social worker who had come to visit. He did not feel he knew how to die, he said. I told him I didn’t think he needed to know how, that it was probably a lot like being born. It just happens naturally. And I’m pretty sure I told him I loved him, at least one last time. I don’t know that he ever came to grips with it, but I hope he never felt alone.
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I was alone when I drove several towns over to collect his ashes from the Santa Hat Toilet Paper Merry Christmas 2020 Sweatshirt . I won’t say that was the moment it became real; it was real enough to watch him die. But there is something grotesquely final about waiting in a too-quiet, too-tastefully-decorated lobby and then being handed a startlingly heavy shoebox-sized parcel that contains what’s left of who used to be your husband. And then there was the bizarre question of whether this box should ride home in the passenger seat or the trunk. (I chose the trunk, mainly so it wouldn’t slide around.) I choked back tears during most of the drive home that day, and again when I handed over the box to his parents so that they could arrange to bury the remains in his hometown.