My oncologist called to personally apologize for misjudging my remaining time, but I hold him no ill will. Determining the time of death is not an exact science. I know that. I’m arranging to donate my body to science. I want them to do an autopsy and see how it got me so Starbuck Coffee Merry And Bright Shirt, to help other cancer patients. The oncologist thinks the cancer may have gotten to my heart or the major central blood vessels. I didn’t think small cell could move THIS fast but my oncologist says we caught it late.
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My hospice team has been wonderful. I have crossed tapered from bupenorphine– which I discontinued Wednesday– to methadone, with Starbuck Coffee Merry And Bright Shirt. I have a lot of morphine and the option of hydromorphone is on the table as well if needed. I am comfortable and resting at home. The next stop on the train is continuous sedation, and I am very tired, so I probably will not be able to respond to anyone like I did last time. My physician says we can start a midazolam drip as soon as tonight. I will probably take him up on the offer tomorrow, if I’m still alive.