On a completely darker and awkward note, I was checking a lady out who had four koi who just immediately starts bawling and I’m like Virginia Tech Hokies Operation Hat Trick Military Appreciation White Effect T-Shirt. So I ask what’s wrong and she says a dresser fell on her granddaughter and killed her. She then leaves before her transaction could be completed. It was probably a scam but honestly just fucking leave bro. Good lordt.Lady comes in asking if we can cut off her bird’s bird band. No. Get out.Now the coup de grâce of this THREE HOURS. Couple comes in to return dead chameleon (so much shit has happened that we neglected to realize it wasn’t even from our store). They say they woke up and it was dead after being fine the day before, that fucking chameleon was damn near fully decomposed but whatever.
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They return it and then go shopping and come back with a block of eco earth and a tropical decor piece and the Virginia Tech Hokies Operation Hat Trick Military Appreciation White Effect T-Shirt “I might as well spoil my leopard gecko while I’m here.” ? Decided I wasn’t even gonna go there. Mid checkout dude says he also wanted to get a gerbil. I say okay I’ll send someone over. At this point one of our ALKs came in early because she’s fucking beautiful so she goes over. They both tell her conflicting stories about their setup at home and are obviously lying but we can’t deny the sale. Our ALK also mentions, and I didn’t even fucking notice, DUDE HAS NO SHOES ON. NO SHOES, NO SOCKS, JUST BUCK NAKED DIRTY TOES. So ignoring this and swallowing bile I do the check out and this man asks if we have those fliers on gerbil care and the chick says they can just google it. I came to the conclusion that that gerbil is going up someone’s ass that night.
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