I was around 17 weeks pregnant at the time just like you. I picked up some of the books I bought her and it just hit You Are Not Alone You Matter Breast Cancer Awareness T-shirt that there was no way I was having an abortion, regardless of how disappointing her father was. I felt the weight of that decision leave my shoulders. I felt the sadness of thinking my pregnancy would be over leave my body. Being a single mother was never my plan but it’s not a death sentence. Other women had done it and I could too. I planned for my baby, I wanted her, I loved her, I was going to read these books to her in this apartment come hell or high water, and we would make it work regardless of how awful her father treated us. And that settled the abortion issue for me.
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I grew up with a father who behaved very much like this and it was my mother’s pregnancy that was the turning point in his pattern of You Are Not Alone You Matter Breast Cancer Awareness T-shirt He seemed to truly believe that he could do whatever he wanted and become abusive, because mothers and children are vulnerable. Well eventually we left and after his last hot-and-cold episode of manipulative bullshit with me I have not spoken to him for about a decade. No regrets.
As the child of an asshole such as her now ex, I would say to OP absolutely do not let him change whether and how you want to be a mother. If you want a baby you have a baby. But be aware that this may not be the end of the road with this guy and his shitty behaviour, be prepared to stand your ground to protect both you and the baby. Set firm boundaries and don’t count on him for anything (especially informal financial arrangements – that seems to be a favoured method of men exercising leverage over women and children) because he’s just proved that you can’t.
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