As an older sister with a Chicago Cubs Friends shirt who is 16 years younger than me, I can’t imagine not having both my brothers at my family birthday dinner. It never would have occurred to me to ask. A wedding is understandable, but she is turning 16. Yes it only happens once, but it doesn’t make her queen of the world. I guess it really depends on her relationship with her baby sister (and you for that matter). If it’s rocky or not super close, then it’s more understandable.
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My spouse an I have Chicago Cubs Friends shirt, eldest is 13 years old, middle is 2 years old and youngest is 5 months old. I would hold a birthday dinner for my eldest with her friends only, and then do a celebration with family. Nothing wrong for her to want an age group celebration. It is not at all selfish. I would find a babysitter for our youngest 2 and celebrate our eldest with her friends, and they’re all our biological children. I would do the same for all of them. Dont be upset over such a small thing.